Not sure if I am ready . . .

So I am not sure if I am really ready to write this yet, but I feel like I need to.  This was supposed to be the blog entry where we announce that we are having a little girl or boy.  But sometimes Heavenly Father has other plans.  We went to our 18 week ultrasound appointment yesterday and found out that there was no longer a heart beat.  It has been very difficult and I know it will be a long healing process, but I know that everything happens for a reason.  I feel like I have not had a lot of difficult things happen in my life and for that have always had a hard time sympathizing with other people going through hard things in their lives.  Maybe this is my time to experience something difficult in order to understand other people better and how to serve them.  I do know that Heavenly Father is very aware on me though and has already made that very apparent.  

Yesterday my mom went in for knee surgery at the very same time I had my ultrasound appointment.  After finding out, I wanted nothing else than to talk to my mom.  I am not in anyway blaming her for this because I know how painful her knee has been and I am glad that she had this done.  But I really needed to talk to my mom.  But here is where I know that Heavenly Father is looking out for me.  (bring on the tears . . .)  My mother in law happened to be driving her sister to Idaho yesterday.  They just happened to take a wrong turn and ended up driving through our area at the very same time we called her to tell her the news.  She and her sister stopped by and were able to talk with me and give me a hug and offer comfort.  I can't tell you how much that meant to me.  

Again, I know the I still have grieving left to do, but am so grateful for the gospel and our Heavenly Fathers evidence in our lives.   Even though I wasn't sure I was ready to write this yet I am glad I did.  I think just writing down some of my feelings has helped.